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Offshore Oscar’s picks May 30, 31 – Bombs away
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This is the last official weekend of the season for this series, but don’t be surprised if I pop up during the summer with some crazy plays or stories about that one time I got really drunk and wound up in a CIA holding cell for 3 months.
We’ve guaranteed a winning season, which aint [...]
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Offshore Oscar’s picks May 16, 17 – Putting the fun back into the fundamentals
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Our two plays last weekend didn’t get us anywhere, but that’s why they call it gambling, except in Las Vegas where they call it “gaming” so it sounds like you had fun even when you inevitably lose. Whatever.
In the final weeks of the season we have a healthy profit guaranteed for anyone who’s been [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks May 9, 10 – Well, that didn’t work
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My midweek Champion’s League London home-teams parlay went over just about as well as a right-wing radio talk show guy trying to host the Oscars or enter the UK. Late money poured in on ManU and Barcelona, and instead of that being an ominous sign, it looked like value. Whatever. This whole game might be [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks May 2, 3 – Easy money will be ours
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Last weekend was tough with two frustrating draws on games that could easily have been wins, but that happens all the time so you’d think I’d be used to it. Fiorentina came through big though, so we only had a small loss.
If the swine flu doesn’t end up killing all the fans and players [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks Mar-14, 15 – Attention Groundskeeper Willie
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We had a great weekend so we were finally able to hit the “overcharge” button on that nasty losing streak and we are swimming in units again. Those stubborn Germans were all that kept us from sweeping, since the EPL parlay came through nicely, as did the draw in the Madrid Derby.
This weekend we’ll [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks Mar-7, 8 – Madrid Derby and soft drink action
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The next time I attempt a 4-team London parlay of favorites, I’d appreciate if someone would slap me around a bit to bring me back to reality. As usually happens, the first three did the job, and then the last one, Fulham in this case, couldn’t even manage a draw.
The week even started out [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks Feb-14 and 15 – Italian and French WAGs special
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That USA win during the week seemed so easy that it’s amazing we more than doubled our money on that bet, but that was offset by my big bet that satellites would collide in orbit last week instead of this week. Where the hell were you when I needed you, disused Russian satellite Cosmos 2251? [...]
Offshore Oscars picks Jan-31 and Feb-1 – EPL, Bundesliga, and La Liga locks
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If FIFA had raised the crossbars a bit (like I’ve suggested to them so many times!) before that Wigan-Liverpool match on Wednesday, I’d probably be moving to that palm-shaped island in Dubai already, but hitting the even-longer-shot Udinese over Juve more than made up for it. If I hadn’t lost that Texas high school basketball [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks for January 24 and 25, 2009
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Aston Villa and Genoa each came through exactly as hoped, which more than made up for the Madrid parlay debacle. We are now so solidly into positive territory that FIFA is probably looking into the situation. At this rate it shouldn’t be long before football handicappers have their own WAGs who are featured in tabloid [...]
Offshore Oscar’s picks for January 17 and 18, 2009
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More of those ridiculous frozen-pitch match cancellations took their toll on our action again last weekend, but thanks to a Wigan victory we came out ahead in spite of it all. I’ve now officially gone from ‘global warming skeptic’ to ‘global warming fan,’ or at least I would if it existed. Madrid is the [...]
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